An apparition on the streets and a freak in the sheets (that you’re wearing as a festive costume).

He’ll be saying “trick-or-treat” over and over and over again.

Because nobody has time for pants, not even 400-year-old vampires.

You’re a sex monster tonight.

Pro tip: keep the toilet paper loose around your crotch region.

Boom. Ready to bone in no time.

For extra points, get kinky with your pitchfork.